Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
