The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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