my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
