yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
