I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize