turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
