What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
