it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
