Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
