I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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