I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
