I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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