i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
