I should be sponsored by Trojan
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
