yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
What a dumb baby whore.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
