i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
