You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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