Nicole vs. Life
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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