so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you would pick up someone in the library
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
