I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I got inside last night via doggy door
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i out mim tonsoeep
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