im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
