she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
