Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
