ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
