I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i drank out of a bidet.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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