thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
