They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
