she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
