when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
