dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
