And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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