found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
