too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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