I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
