The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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