Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
