he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Still dying that you shit outside
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
