Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
