I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
