She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
