dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
