mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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