Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
