i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
