I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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