so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
