last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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