Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
