Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
