well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
