HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
