He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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