Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
