I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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